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Contact Ralph

Please talk to me. PLEASE! I sit in this office all day long listening to Little Stevie the 7 year old shipping coordinator complain about being paid in Lego's and Slinky's. There is an itchy tag in the waistband of my tutu. My tiara is too tight for my head. I want to learn how to do the queen wave. I want a mani AND a pedi. Glitter is the STD of the crafting world and I'm Typhoid Mary. I have a paper cut. I could use a Pepsi. I'm Hangry. I need a vacation. I need TWINKIES and VODKA... NOW! Please, deliver me from evil... Tell me your dreams, your hopes, your deepest darkest... wait, TMI.

Seriously though, drop me a line so I can tell you how fabulous you are. For reals.


(Spammers will be electrocuted with a rusty fork as soon as the Submit button is clicked. Don't forget the verification code or you get electrocuted twice. It works, I tested it n'stuff while you were at work yesterday.)

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